Thursday, January 12, 2012

Desires of the Heart: Is It All About Me?

After taking some time off around the Holidays, I'm ready to find time to grow my blog this year. This blog is a journey, as I find how it fits in the amazing, powerful world of mommy bloggers and in my own life. Today, I'm sharing how I'm continuing to find my purpose in life. As Christians, we often struggle what our "purpose" is. I hope to share how I am finding my purpose in Him and through Him.

Over the past 7 years, I am continuing to be amazed with Psalm 37:4:
"Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (NKJV)
As a child and teenager, this Scripture made me think that God was teaching me to have a "give and take relationship." Meaning, if you serve God, then He'll give you what you want. It was a very self-centered approach.

Shortly after getting married, I realized God meant something much bigger in this Scripture. The Strong's Concordance explains that delight means: "to be happy about, take exquisite delight; to be of dainty habit, be pampered." Wow... that's a new perspective. Pamper yourself in the Lord? Now, that sounds awesome to me. That sounds like we should enjoy serving Him, or at least that He wants to have a good time with us. Plus, the last part has given especially new meaning, in that He is the one to put the desires in my heart. Double wow!

I'll let that sink in for a moment. Or maybe that's just for me?

These ideas seem so contrary to our modern lives (mostly talking about myself). In my perspective of our society, one can be very self-serving. We go to school to get a diploma, strive in college for a degree, and embark into the wide-open world for our little corner or "slice" of The American Dream. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with striving for excellence. By all means, we should do everything heartily as unto the Lord. However, we aren't living our lives without any interaction with other people or circumstances. Life isn't just about ME. Our decisions and paths lead us into others' lives.

Who will I meet today that will help me see more of God? 

Will I be ready to share a smile with a stranger and, as a result, share God's love?

It's exciting to realize that as I bask in His strength (not my own) and His love, He is giving me the desires and ideas to do new things. 

As you know, I am a self-proclaimed nerd. As a little girl, I dreamt that I would be a ballerina or a teacher. As a teenager, I saw how tough teaching (as a profession) can be and decided that this passion for learning meant that I should be a life-long student. I almost went to grad school, but I nixed that when the dot-com bubble popped. Hubby and I both lost jobs and weren't about to go into more debt for school. I have been a ballet teacher off-and-on since that time. In addition, I used my degree in English to write training manuals and act as a trainer for the distribution-end of a publishing company. Up to this point, my love for learning was fulfilling but not finished. I don't think learning should ever stop, but that's another post entirely.

Becoming a Mom has helped solidify and clarify those desires. I am a teacher and guide to my children. I get to fuel my passion for learning, as I teach them and rediscover all the things I loved in school. As I'm studying more and more curriculum and homeschool methodologies, I find myself overly giddy at each new idea to share. While I know that I will hold the title of Mother for many more years, these early years of intense training will not always be. Today, I choose to cherish the short-lived days and am thankful for His desires. I am excited and nervous about each new day. 

I suppose it is only fitting, then, to end with the my boys' memory verse for the next few weeks. Philippians 4: 6: 
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

What desires have you seen change or progress in your own life?


  1. Love your post you bring out so many things to keep you thinking about !! Love it !!!

  2. Thanks, DeAnna! So glad you enjoyed it. Sometimes it's scary to put your thoughts out there. Hehe!